February Comments and Replies

25 comments:

**Anonymous said...

Please can you help me book.How much is a week at the ranch.Is it cheaper if a book in advance
February 14, 2007 1:16 PM

**Bookings Manager said...

Thank you for your interest. Because the price for both the ferry and the ranch depends on who you know, and a little bit on what you know, you will need to call the **telephone number provided. It helps if you know the "secret word." If you have a "Scratch and Save" coupon, please advise before booking. At the present time for the months of February and March only, we are doubling the discount offered on those coupons.
February 15, 2007 2:15 PM

**Sancho said...

WOOHOO!! I just got back and what a trip. $88 R/T (with $10 coupon) sure beats Cubana and what's more, the ferry was right on time.

The only bad part of the trip is that I could only book four nights at the Ranch. Unfortunately, it was full which is easy to understand with rates that low. Even without all the extras it would still be a bargan over Los Campos. It's probably just as well that I could only stay 4 nights. Anymore would have killed me but what a way to go. :-)

I already booked my next trip before the introductory prices go up.
February 15, 2007 4:29 PM

**Anonymous said...

do you honor competitor coupons?
i hear that the bongo man,s ferry is offering 30% discounts with the purchase of concert tickets to the orange bowl death watch party.
February 15, 2007 4:58 PM

**bookings manager said...

I am sorry but we will not honor any competitor's coupons because we know we already have the best prices and the best value. If you are really short of funds, you could apply for a temporary job on the ferry during the voyage.

Trust me, there is no other ferry service to Cuba that can realistically compete with our fantastic service.
February 15, 2007 10:22 PM

**Pepin Gatiesa said...

We hate to inform the general public about bringing un-approved items on board. On Wednesday's trip from Playa del Carmen a Canadian getleman tried to bring on board several bags of Salmon pieces.

The stench was awful and passengers were complaining. Please, no fish on the ferry.

Thank You

Pepin Gatiesa, CEO
Fantasia Ferries LTD
February 16, 2007 3:22 AM

**David said...

Wonderful website, Mr. Pepin. I will bookmark it for future reference and send all TT naysayers here for your definitave answer.

Davfitz
February 16, 2007 1:06 PM

**Anonymous said...

I can't believe you gave top billing to melisas AND not one mention of me! Now that f'in pisses me off Big Daddy, after all the mf work I have done for you!
February 17, 2007 12:37 AM

**Entertainment Coordinator said...

I am new in this job and I can only hire and publicize those persons who have approached me about their interest in performing on FF.

If you send us a detailed resume of your talent(s) with at least 13 recomendations from past employers, we would be happy to consider your application.

You may not know this, but we do not pay you, you pay us, for the privilege of performing on FF. However, since many top names in the entertainment industry travel with us, we are giving you an opportunity to perform for the best in the business and this may be your big chance to break into show business.


Currently we have entertainment spots available on our July and September sailings.
February 17, 2007 9:14 AM

**MELLISAS said...

G'DAY MELLISAS HERE...

don't be upset amiga the boss and l flew to south Africa last week to buy you a white river diamond..it is beautiful ..6 carats...you will love it..!!!!

anyway really looking forward to the crossing in march..got together a little skit for you all...l think all will be entertained...

have purchased 2 REAL dolls and they will amaze you.they can bend into positions you only dream about...cliff Richard will be there singing Living Doll during there performance..

this will also be a great opportunity for you guys to get a bit of practice..our girls at the ranch demand high performances from you...

also our 2 mermaid invite you into a huge glass pool to swim with them..just smoke some of our gillyweed and you will beable to breath under water...and play with them..but q..e..dardo..they have sharp teeth..don't offer them anything you would not want to loose..

the highlight of the show will be a performance by saborami..she will put on a gymnastic display in her wicked weasel bikini...
February 17, 2007 10:24 AM

**Anonymous said...

Dear Fantasia,

I understand your trips from Mexico, but when will you start service from Key West? While there are many "ferries" there, I don't know of any "servicing" Cuba tourists ... with one possible exception ...

I was playing a gig there recently, backing up a male Bette Midler impressionist, when I heard the following conversation on the docks:

"Say, what type of boat is that?"

"Why, that's a ferry boat."

"Goodness gracious, I knew there were a lot of us here, but I didn't realize we had our own navy!"

Anyway, I'd like to apply for a job as a musician on your ship. I have an extremely big ... er ... repertoire ... everything from Barry Manilow to Elton John.

I understand, as you have posted here, that I must pay for the privilege of playing. Trust me, I am willing to pay ... and pay... and pay ... Who knows, I might land a job with The Village People!

Please see my resume at http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pageartist.cfm?bandID=583623

Besitos y abrazos!
February 17, 2007 10:46 AM

**Saborami said...

I've been practising my pretzel headstands and split serving beer tricks for well over a month now. You can tell that NEW "entertainment coordinator" that I DON'T DO AUDITIONS. Obviously he has never heard of me OR seen me perform my vast array of Mustang Girl tricks. Thanks for the heads up Melisa, (you get the boobs and I get the diamond)....I can live with that. See you at the Ranch.
Saby.
February 17, 2007 10:53 AM

**Entertainment Coordinator said...

To Mellisas and Saby

I have never visited the Mustang Ranch (although Pepin has booked a week for me in May) so I am not fully aware of what services are offerred there.

HOWEVER, as he has said many times in the past, and as you may not know, Fantasia Ferries carries children as well as adults. The adult entertainment is provided on one level only of the ferry and not in the general lounge, where we offer family entertainment.

Mellisas - I am resheduling your entertainment shifts to the "Adults Only" Level. Considering the other possibilities there, I do not think your story-telling sessions will be well-attended and you might want to re-consider your gig with us, or reconsider what you can offer. If you decide to cancel, we will happily refund 90% of what you paid for the opportunity to perform on FF.

Saby - Given your talents, I think we could happily offer you a place on the schedule, sight unseen. Again, it will be the "Adults Only" section. Please submit payment at your earliest convenience (the fee is double on the "Adults Only" level) and advise which month you are available. Rest a lot beforehand, please. You will be busy.

Anonymous Musician --

Please apply with 13 recomendations, stating the month you would like to be featured. April may be available if Mellisas is moved to the "Adults Only" level from the general lounge, if your repertoire would suit that environment.

I am passing your concerns about the Key West facility to the Booking Manager as that is not my department.
February 17, 2007 11:57 AM

**saborami said...

if you think I am paying a f'in fee to perform my renouned circus acts in a weasel wink bikini, you are out of your mf mind! You guys should be paying me. I am well known in the Carribean....I have a reputation of going where angels fear to tread. Now I will agree to perform on Peppy's ferry under one condition: I DO NOT pay a fee to perform. In liue of payment, I will agree to perform for a free ferry ride, all the booze I can handle (That's a lot bucko) and special entertaining privledges where I audition some of the guests and see if they are worthy enough to ah hem...compliment my act....they must agree to wear costumes, do as I say, not as I do and be at my command at all times OR you can kiss my ass goodbye! Capiche?

Saby.
February 17, 2007 12:46 PM

**Tony said...

Nice to see some people get all the credit, while others have to do all the work. Ferry, Ferry, Ferry.....geez....what about the Ranch, hunh? What about those of us that have sacrificed life and limb (and appendage) to make sure things run smoothly? Where's the credit we get???
Not that I'm bitter. I'm happy...no, thrilled to be working here...but a little recognition goes a long way, y'know. Okay, maybe I'm a little sucky 'cause Mel and the boss are sailing the seas on the ferry and I'm stuck here doing all the work with Jennifer T. But still....

****Moderator's note. One paragraph edited because, sorry, we don’t care about your medical problem.****

Okay, I'm going. SOME PEOPLE have to get back to WORK. And oh, look, now there's a friggin' line-up thanks to this site....Sheesh....

Mctonedef
Chief of Security
Pepin's Mustang Ranch
Varadero, Cuba
February 17, 2007 3:16 PM

**peyote said...

i'm interested in making a reservation for the saborami show. also, can i just stay in the ferry and come back to playa del este? i'm a bit paranoid about setting foot on the island. don't want no mistake about wet foot/dry foot thing. por si las moscas.
February 17, 2007 3:50 PM

**mellisas said...

dear Entertainment Coordinator ..

do you think we are so niave that we believe your statment that you do not know what goes on at the mustang ranch...you should also look at your front page..many things there that are not kid friendly..my boss pepin said we could use the ferry to drum up bisso for the ranch..get folks in the mood..l'm sure he will give you a bit of josh under the table.

l really think your as bit of a wanker...(:(
February 17, 2007 8:22 PM

**Bookings Manager said...

One other job we now have available is Entertainment Coordinator since ours just left -- terribly upset at the accusations directed towards him by Melisas. Please everyone, we only want to do what is best for the company, so try not to get too personal here, OK?

Peyote - Yes, you can do a same day return, but you will have to disembark and go through Cuban immigration and customs. It is part of our arrangement with the Cuban government that we pay a per head tax for each passenger we convey. They come aboard and search the ferry after each disembarkation.

Anonymous Musician - Have you seen the Harry Potter movies? At the train station, to board the Hogwarts Expresss, they have to plow right into a pillar. No one can see their platform.

The same is true of our dock at Key West. You have to drive right into a certain pylon (which will be told to you when you pay the fare) in order to take the leap of faith onto the ferry, loading and unloading.

We have built it and they will come....
February 17, 2007 11:40 PM

**Anonymous said...

How much extra must I pay in order to get of at Maria La Gorda?
February 18, 2007 6:51 AM

**mellisas said...

well l could care less about your Entertainment Coordinator leaving..obviously they did not have a clue what the game was..said it was kid friendly..did he not read this write up about the ferry...

'''Fantasia Ferries. Established by Señor Pepin in late 2006 in response to the many queries on the ThornTree website indicating a real need for sea transport to Cuba. He is also the owner of the famous Mustang Ranch near Varadero that caters to fat, bald, middle-aged male tourists who travel to Cuba looking for what no one will give them in their home countries. The Ranch is currently being picketed by the Federacion Cubana de Mujeres. Try to enter at your own risk. There is nothing harder to get past than an angry Cuban woman''''

anyway he rocked up at the ranch at 2am this morning wearing a wiggles costume ,and demanding kinky sex...jeeez
February 21, 2007 1:06 PM

**Bookings Manager said...

On the Cancun passage only, we can make arrangements for you to be taken to Maria La Gorda. A luxury yacht will meet the Cancun ferry and you will transfer to this vessel before our ferry veers north for Havana. The cost will be negotiated with the Cuban owners - and is usually about $50. extra. Unfortunately, due to the risk being taken by our Cuban business partners, we can only offer this service leaving MLG if the yacht has been booked to pick someone up on the incoming trip.
February 22, 2007 7:54 AM

**Boookings Manager said...

Thank you everyone for your interest. The job of Entertainment Coordinator has been filled. After reviewing over 200 applications, we have selected a very talented young woman who will suit our organization perfectly.

Melisas - Please treat R---- well at the ranch. He was under enormous pressure to put together 6 months work of activities in under two weeks. I think it was the photos of Saborami that finally got to him in the end. I hope he was able to meet her at the Ranch as he was quite smitten with her.
February 22, 2007 7:59 AM

**saborami said...

Saborami feels there could be love in the air for this booze packing, pretzel twist headstands, acrobats and splits in the sand party girl...
yes....Saborami could almost envision a nice quiet life in a little hacianda over looking the ocean & Caribbean sunsets; sipping bloody mary's after lobster dinners and most importantly, partaking in hours and hours of making love with my one and only stallion.

this could be the end of an era.... Let's hope he does not break my heart or else I will have to kill him.
February 22, 2007 4:21 PM
Anonymous said...

We are very much interested in your "Wedding" services.

Will Sr.Pepin be offeciating?

We would also like to "Book" the Saborami Show "" in the air for this booze packing, pretzel twist headstands, acrobats and splits in the sand party girl...

Sounds like a trip.
February 26, 2007 10:23 AM

**bookings manager said...

Our weddings are non-denominational and Señor Pepin is legally qualified to conduct them. You will have to bring birth certificates, any divorce papers, etc. with you. The usual.

We are trying to locate Saborami who seems to have run off with our former Entertainment Coordinator and has not been heard from for some time (see! when you don't make them pay, they don't honor their contracts). We do have, however, four wonderful dancers who were trained by Saborami and I am sure you will very much enjoy their performace.

Please call us to arrange your passage. Remember that the weddings will not be available until April 1.
February 26, 2007 10:33 AM